So are vampires made of metal?

Have you heard of this Twilight thing? Apparently it's a romance story between an average albino girl and an undead monster of the night. VAH! *in Bela Lugosi voice* My name is...*squeaky voice* Edward Cullen.

I took the liberty of dissecting the Bela Lugosi Dracula movie and compared it to the Twilight movie and some things don't sync up. First of all, the vampires are different. I'm more likely to believe the Lugosi movie considering it's in black and white (which I believe means it came first). Got that? Vampires have slicked back hair, no reflection, and sharp fangs. The Gary Oldman version of Dracula confirms quite a bit of this while adding to it. I believe the Gary Oldman version to refine what we already know about vampires and Dracula.

Twilight spits on it. Stephanie Meyers should research vampires a little more since she got them so wrong in her movie. The so-called vampires lacked the fangs to drink blood. I mean, the human neck isn't that thick it can't be pierced easily (such as that hobo with that sharpened stick I found), but I think it's necessary to have sharp teeth. Ambis teeth can puncture human skin. I know this, even though Jix has never bitten either of the two humans. (Would be funny as hell.)

The second thing is that they sparkle. This confounds me. I mean, they have the skin of an undead (all bloaty and pale). I've seen plenty of cadavers outside and none of them have sparkled. I mean, occasionally they glisten, but never sparkle. So what are they made of? My guess is metal. My exoskeleton shines just as bright.

THIS EXPLAINS WHY THEY HAVE DULL TEETH! Androids don't need blood (though it's fun to drain) and thus don't need the sharp teeth. Besides, metal teeth can pierce skin, even if it's dull.

I kind of feel embarrassed to be an android now, but at least I'm Ambis made and not human made.

OF COURSE! It all makes sense now! You've seen Data on Star Trek, he looks just like one of them. I've never seen him in the sunshine, so I don't know if he sparkles or not, but he's got the same pale skin and funky eyes. Maybe they managed to get dull metal in the future.